


The Amiibo Gazebo

by UmbreonGurl



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Crack, Gen, Not Proofread, a literary meme, amiibo gazebo, unbetad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 07:23:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20305660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UmbreonGurl/pseuds/UmbreonGurl
Summary: The Amiibo Gazebo is haunted by many ghosts who act rather strange.





	The Amiibo Gazebo

The first time Byleth meets a ghost at the amiibo gazebo, a muscular, blue haired man approaches her and places an elixir in her hands.

“I fight for my friends,” he declares. He starts to walk off, before stopping and abruptly turning around. “I also do crack.”

With his message delivered, he starts to fade away.

* * *

The second time Byleth meets a ghost at the gazebo, another blue haired man appears. This one is more lean than the last, more elegant and graceful.

This time, she knows to expect a strange message. While Byleth may not understand the meaning behind the messages, she can usually at least understand the words that they are made of.

Unfortunately, this time, that wasn’t the case.

“Konkai wa boku no kachi da ne,” he says with a smile. He pulls out a few smithing stones and adds them to a pouch with some high quality tea leaves before he hands it to her. He waves at her before he, too, fades away.

For the next few days after, Byleth spends some late nights searching the library trying to figure out exactly what language he speaks, but doesn’t have much success.

* * *

The third blue haired man she meets _ does _luckily speak their language. She waits and watches for a while to see what he does before she approaches. From what she can tell, the ghosts only seem to disappear after she talks to them.

He takes a seat on one of the nearby benches and pulls out an orange. Much to her fascination, he doesn't peel it, and simply takes a bite out of it, peel and all, as if it is completely normal. She almost wants to rub her eyes, not quite sure whether she actually just saw a man take a bite out of an unpeeled orange, or whether she was hallucinating from lack of sleep.

When he goes to take another bite, it confirms for her that, yes, he did, in fact, just take a bite of an unpeeled orange, not just once, but twice. By this point, she shouldn't be surprised. Every single ghost she has met so far has been strange in one way or another, and this one is no different.

She approaches him to ask just what the _hell_ he thinks he is doing, eating an orange with the peel, but before she can ask him, he stands up, walks towards her, and places a massive fish in her hands.

"It's Chrom time. Time to Chrom. I do not do crack. I am gay for Ro-" he starts, but is cut off when he too, disappears.

At this point, Byleth does not know what to expect.

* * *

It's weird how almost all the ghosts seem to have blue hair. The one who spoke the strange language is back, but with a new haircut, and a slightly new wardrobe.

At this point, she wants to just take the items and leave, but she can't help but be curious as to why he came back. After all, this is the first time she has had a ghost give a repeat visit. Byleth knows that he won't respond, but she can't help but want to ask him why he came back.

"New wardrobe?" she says, holding out her hands for the items he will inevitably shove in them.

He pulls out a few chest keys, places them in her hands and leans in close. "In another universe, my mom was a man and I married him. Sorry if this looks gay to the viewers."

It is as they fade away that Byleth realizes that that was not, in fact, the same ghost as before.

* * *

The next man she meets does not have blue hair. He is a young man, lean and muscular, with flaming red-orange hair. 

He pulls out some smelly tea leaves (that she’s pretty sure she’s seen Linhardt carrying around before), and places them in her hands.

“How do you tame a horse in Minecraft? My dad wants to know,” he says, smiling at her.

Byleth does not know what this “Minecraft” is, but when she asks her students, they look just as confused as she is.

* * *

The next man she meets has silver hair, red eyes, and no shoes. 

“I am the ocean’s gray waves,” he says, as he dumps a steel sword at her feet. “Yeehaw feet I don’t wear shoes. Mr. Vallabama get down!”

He tackles her, but fades right through her, as he is a ghost.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> This was a shitpost and I'm sorry. Do you ever look back on something you made and become instantly horrified because man I do.


End file.
